i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
