white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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