The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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