She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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