Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
