she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
