I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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