I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
