I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize