try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Randomize
