it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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