some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize