The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
