i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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