oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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