I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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