So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
