$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
