Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
