I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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