Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
