im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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