Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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