You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
no you cant smoke seaweed
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
