you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
