Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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