marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
