i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
If I die, sorry about rent.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
