I should be sponsored by Trojan
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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