Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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