I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize