the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize