Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
