To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Dicks are not precious.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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