Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
