I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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