Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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