Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
