so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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