The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
