READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
