barbara walters just said penis...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
