i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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