I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
