I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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