First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He shit in the fireplace
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
