So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
