Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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