are you still at the devil's house?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
