He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
