And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
