i just wanna soil my oats bro
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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