Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i've created a new STD.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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