He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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