You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
