At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
