She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
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