i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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