we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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