What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
