Dual....:-)
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
we're chasing vodka with high fives
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think weed is turning my hair brown
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
