May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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