Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
