Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
