My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
