Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
That's when you crack a 10am beer
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
